hey

I'm glad I got a new phone number so I didn't have to receive harassing texts from that B**** anymore but know shes harassing me over Facebook pretending to be her bf(?)  wow get a life.. and leave me alone my world is much better without her being around lying to everyone.  seriously everyone knows you cheated on the guy you have kids with so stop pretending you didn't.

Ugh

So this guy I was debating on seeing or not. I mean he was hot as hell but I know he wasn't going anywhere cuz he liked to drink and smoke too much. He hit a lady walking her dog while drunk. What the heck. I always fall for the bad guys.

Seriously

I don't want your drama at 7 in the morning. I'm done with this. Don't talk shit about me and make up stuff one minute then ask me for favors the next. I want a drama free life so I'm done talking to you. Next time you want something you can find someone else!

drunk thoughts

so many things i wish i could say to you. but would it be worth it? WOULD ANTHING I SAY EVEN MATTER? does anthing anymore even matter. it all just fucking sucks. every time i like someone new its not the same. i always think of you. why???   this is bullshit. i mean yes, i wish everything could be forgotten and we could strart over.. but is that even possible. i htink sometimes i am too hopful. I try to hard to fizx things when nobody else tries to help. so many things i want to tell you and when i go to tell you i remember we dont talk anymore. its kinda sad. the person i wanted to talk to and tell everthing to is now just someone i use to know. haha stupid song.  but seriously how long must i go before i totally give up. i was over it more months ago and now im not? how the fuck does that work. ?  
oh well in the end, id rather you be happy, with or without me. thats true love right? if not idk what is........=s

hmmmm lol

I have died every day waiting for you.

ouch

so much pain. im ready for it to be over.

Im sorry

I lost sight of what matters in life. I'm not ready to give up. It just feels different than the others.  I have never ever had a hard time moving on before. I mean I'm living my life and I'm happy, but its constantly in the back of my mind. I know I screwed up. I just need to quit thinking about it all and just forget and move on totally for good. Because I'm not wanted and its never going to happen.  I mean i like other people i guess. But I remember every time I would look at him I would get butterflies even after all that time. Even thinking of him I do..  I must really be crazy HAHAHA! oh geeze...  
esto perpetua

Every time I see him my heart melts.. am I too old for a crush? hahahaha =)

Hello?

Life is really good. There are many things I have learned in a very short period of time (compared to my whole life time).  Some of the hardest things for me to do were to forgive and forget.  I would let the anger and hate build up inside of me into a little ball just waiting to explode at any sign of destruction. This was not who I wanted to be, that is not who I am.. anymore.  I have found peace in the most unlikely of places. But there is one thing I am never going to give up on is hope. "If you can't get someone out of your head, maybe it's because they are meant to be there." I try to tell myself that it would pass in time, but it hasn't. Maybe I just haven't given myself enough time. "If it really didn't matter, you wouldn't spend so much time thinking about it." Even if I move on from person to person throughout my life, there will always be that one person who will always be on my mind. I can make my own decisions.

So if you are reading this, go with your gut instinct and forget about what everyone tells you to do.


"The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

idk

so this guy I met. Idk I thought he was really cool but then again I was really drunk. haha.. oh the things I get myself into...    Idk...         ughghghghgh!!11

thinking

So I'm thinking and seeing all these guys I passed up along the line somewhere and some of them are in relationships. They are happy and do nice things and take them places ect... and I cant help but think it could be my in that place.
Im done with mean guys. no matter how hot they are, Im done. no more.
Im done with d-bags, im done will controlling or Agressive or possessive or liars. everything.

I'm done looking for the wrong type of guy. I want someone who knows who they are, know what they want. I want someone with standards. Who knows what they want in a relationship. I'm not going to change to someone who I'm not.

I want a relationship where they grow together.  No one person is the leader ect.. 
Accept me for me. Don't try to change me. I don't want another fake relationship.

Nobody deserves to be treated without respect.
I want genuine love and commitment.

running away?

"People who begin to run, train themselves to run for the rest of their lives."   That has been my problem for so many years. I am done running.  I am ready to face anything =)

Have a good day people and remember you are all awesome <3 br="br">

thoughts of the day...

So this is what I find "interesting"...  Old guys try hitting on me.. saying oh your so beautiful, I bet your married with kids already... blah blah blah then they ask how old I am.. so I tell them.. and they are like oh you dont look a day over 18 or something of that sort...
so Im left thinking.. your a middle age male.. who thinks hes hitting on an 18 year old..
PRICELESS!!!   

There will always be yesterday.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

I have hope for tomorrow. For the memories, the good and bad.. they are left in yesterday's time.

really????

dude, seriously?!  Dont tell me your not going to go, then post pics with another girl at the place. How stupid do you think I am. not that I care anyway... just saying....