idk what to do

im seriously too young to be having these heart complications.
i was allready diagnosed with some kind of heart problem.
today in in one of my classes i got really bad chest pains, dizzy, felt like all the blood was rushing to my head and nausea, head ache.
Im like greeeaaaattt.....
somehow i made it home.
typically i normally have high blood pressure, yes i know its bad..
but I just took my bp and its dangerously low...
I just give up.
I probably should go to a doctor. but what can they really do?
perscribe me with blood pressure meds? what if my bp drops like it did today? idk. I cant breathe. I should have changed my lifestyle a long time ago. I guess this is all just my fault. lol.

fustration.

first of all, today was hilarious because I got hit on by a lesbian. lmao. yeah... not going to go into that but it was funny.

I just dont know how much more I can take of dumb people asking dumb questions and being rude. sometimes I just want to say something. but I don't, I just keep my mouth shut. but after the 90th time of saying the same things over and over it really gets annoying god dammit. on the outside I am calm as a cucumber but in the inside im screaming at them. you don't want to pay $.3 fucking pennies!!! jsut because you got $200 dollars of groceries for free bc of a link card  then you fucking complain that you have to pay 3 pennies because you used coupons. People like you are a fucking waste to society.and then they wonder why the fuck we are trillions in debt. or this other person didn't have enough on their link to cover their payment, so they had to pay a couple dollars and threw up a big hissy fit. "oh I guess, Ill just have to pay for it?!"    um yeah, or you know you could go without your doughnuts for a week!! lmao I wish I could tell people where to put it.  or the people who buy oberweise milk on the link and then dumped all the milk in the parking lot and then took the glass bottles back to get the money.

I could go on and on......

falling for u

Communication is the key, and so patience, trust and loyalty. To make a long distance relationship work.


 thats all that matters.
yes.


but..
is it better to have something good for you even though it wasnt exactly what you wanted?

its complicated..

So first and foremost. I have a complication. I bought all these cute skirts and outfits to go with my heals. I wore heals on my first day at school. But what I didn't realize was that I had to go all the way across the campus then up 4 flights of stairs. Yeah, in heals that was no so fun. So now Im like ugh!!!  what a waste. Im either going to have to give up on the skirts or find shoes that are easy to walk in. maybe some wedges..

But anyway everything is going my way. I haven't been in so much peace and happiness in so long. It just all feels like a dream. Its so funny when you find someone who is the exact opposite of what you had before. So this is what is like?! Someone who actually calls and wants to go out, genuinely interested.  wow, it just feels too good to be true.

Im debating on buying a closet thing from Ikea. Because having one pole to hang clothes on with no dressers is really getting annoying. I seriously need help in that aspect. maybe I should move an old dresser back up to my room. I really don't know.

work and school is going great.