something else

I swear if its not one thing, its another...
had a lump went to doctor to get it checked out. got prescribed z-pack to see if it was just because I was sick. If its not gone by monday, I have to get my blood checked woo.. I have the worst luck with health.

change

I need to leave. to get out of here. just pack up and disappear. I really have no tolerance for these stupid people. I cant hang around them anymore. I dont know what im looking for. I just want to get out of here and start over. Im tired of doing things I dont want to do. Im tired of doing what im told. I didnt choose this they told them I wanted to. It was not my choice.  I hope something new pops up fast bc I dont want to hear them bitch about it.

wow

It amazes me how much bullshit one person can produce. it is like word vomit is spewing out of their mouth. and of course every lie they say is perfectly fine. you know what? its not fine. dont expect to come back anymore. im done.

f this

ok seriously. why cant I sleep when I need to? any other time I can fall asleep fine. but no when I have to work I just lay in bed for over 5 hours doing nothing. trying to sleep. now I have to work 10 hours on no sleep. this is going to suck.

hmm

he is so gorgeous I could stare at him all night...and day

idk

how many times a person can have their heart broken, yet they keep trying... somedays, I really feel like giving up.

annoyed.

I'm just really annoyed.
for one, I'm annoyed with guys who are in relationships trying to get with me. especially when they say they are not in a relationship or they just got out of one, get mad when you wont go home with them.. follow you to your car. then when you look them up, yep they are in a relationship. second,  I have the friends' ex's ill say who dated my friends and now they want me, not gonna happen! so quit trying!!!!! third,  I have the clingy guys, who although I have shown no interest.. continue to message me 250 X a minute.  its a little annoying.. no, its really annoying.  fourth, Then I have the guys who cannot spell a freaking sentence. Do you really think I would go for someone like that?  I mean I'm not trying to be rude, but come on.. don't even waste our time.  fifth, Oh this one is funny, the ones who message you and then say tell me something about yourself. Um excuse me? you are the one who messaged me, so you tell me something.. I did not go out and message you. basically find someone in your # range. and I mean that my age, weight, and rate of intelligence and attractiveness. I'm not rude, just honest. you don't like it? then don't talk to me!! because I sure didn't tell you to..  =p

yeaahh

what do I get myself into? if every time we touch you get this kinda rush. life is good.

what happened?!

I don't know where we went wrong. somewhere along the line we fell off track. at the beginning it was all smiles and who loves who more. wishing we could spend the entire day/night in each others arms watching stupid t.v shows.  I don't see why it has to end like this. how can someone say they would do anything for you one year, rip you to pieces the next? I don't see what happened. .. I just wanted to be the only one, is that too much to ask for? I did not ask for expensive things, I did not ask for anything difficult.

I don't see how people can move on from person to person like its nothing. they are in a new relationship every other week like its nothing. They throw the "love" word around like its meaningless. well it means something to me. maybe it was all just a joke to you, maybe it was all just a stupid game to you. but it wasn't to me.  and i hate that every time I get over you again, you come back to rip my heart to pieces all over again. I deserve better than that.

lolz

its funny when people say: to forget about him Jess, your going to have to do real bad things to that guy over there.. real bad.

cold

it been a very busy last couple days.. now im getting a head cold so work the next couple days is gunna drag..
I wish I could go back in time and fix things.. I hate starting over again and again.

fun

great times this weekend. party, then races one day, then paint balling the next. but ooo im sore