oh it is love?

can you love someone before you even really know them?

because I remember the day I fell in love with him.  he was wearing this red blackhawks hoodie and that was the day I knew I loved him. funny thing is, it was before I knew really anything about him. looked into his eyes and knew it was much more than some stupid school girl crush.
It is bad how you can ruin something when it was all you wanted.. oh well, live and learn.

annoyed.

I'm just really annoyed.
for one, I'm annoyed with guys who are in relationships trying to get with me. especially when they say they are not in a relationship or they just got out of one, get mad when you wont go home with them.. follow you to your car. then when you look them up, yep they are in a relationship. second,  I have the friends' ex's ill say who dated my friends and now they want me, not gonna happen! so quit trying!!!!! third,  I have the clingy guys, who although I have shown no interest.. continue to message me 250 X a minute.  its a little annoying.. no, its really annoying.  fourth, Then I have the guys who cannot spell a freaking sentence. Do you really think I would go for someone like that?  I mean I'm not trying to be rude, but come on.. don't even waste our time.  fifth, Oh this one is funny, the ones who message you and then say tell me something about yourself. Um excuse me? you are the one who messaged me, so you tell me something.. I did not go out and message you. basically find someone in your # range. and I mean that my age, weight, and rate of intelligence and attractiveness. I'm not rude, just honest. you don't like it? then don't talk to me!! because I sure didn't tell you to..  =p

Hello?

Life is really good. There are many things I have learned in a very short period of time (compared to my whole life time).  Some of the hardest things for me to do were to forgive and forget.  I would let the anger and hate build up inside of me into a little ball just waiting to explode at any sign of destruction. This was not who I wanted to be, that is not who I am.. anymore.  I have found peace in the most unlikely of places. But there is one thing I am never going to give up on is hope. "If you can't get someone out of your head, maybe it's because they are meant to be there." I try to tell myself that it would pass in time, but it hasn't. Maybe I just haven't given myself enough time. "If it really didn't matter, you wouldn't spend so much time thinking about it." Even if I move on from person to person throughout my life, there will always be that one person who will always be on my mind. I can make my own decisions.

So if you are reading this, go with your gut instinct and forget about what everyone tells you to do.


"The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”