yep I took a chance since they all end up in failure anyway why not? right ;)

what the heck guys

well thats not working out....    ahh im so sick of finding the wrong guys

FRIDAY!!

Its Friday you know what that means!!  I cant wait for tonight.  I think Im going to go see him again tonight.  a week is too long ;)   <3 br="br">

=(

why does finding out a family member is engaged feel like a stake through my heart?

gone

My Dearest,
I've missed you very, very much since that last night we were together,
and will hold that night specially in my memories years to come.
I've been turning it over and over in my mind lately.
I've read your letter through at least four times,
and will probably read it more times before I'm through.
I've been sitting here, looking at your picture,
and getting more homesick every minute.
I've wanted that picture more than anything else I know of,
except of course, you yourself.
I keep thinking of you darling,
keep wishing I could be home with you.
I want to leave in the worst possible way
so I can come home to see you but,
things don't look so good on that subject.
This war has spoiled a lot of things for everyone I guess,
I've never been so lonesome in my life as i am right now.
I'm completely lost without you darling.
I never realized i could miss any one person so much,
I just hope it wont be too much longer until I'm able to be with you again
and live a sane and normal life...

why do I do the things I do......

Theres so many things I wish I could tell you...I push you away.  1) Because I do not know your intentions and am so sick of being hurt by you. 2) I have thought of you every second of every day.  Even though I hated you at times, I still loved you. There was a point in time when I would have done anything for you. For a while, yes I have moved on.  Ive seen other people it was fine for a while but eventually you would come back to mind and  the other person was just not the same.. not you. They have made me realize that I do deserve better. However, not matter how much I wish it could work out. I don't think your going to do anything about it. I am so tired of being a back up girl. Its just too bad that it was never mutual..I guess everyone was right. Don't fall for someone who doesn't feel the same for you..   And don't say you did because if you truly felt the same you wouldn't have given up. Not that it matters anymore. I don't know why your playing these games. Figure out what the heck you want.  I am not waiting around.  I have learned from my mistakes. I am at peace in my life and I don't need someone trying to ruin that for their own personal gain. I mean really, what are you trying to get out of this huh? did you forget that your seeing someone else?. I don't need you to lead me on anymore.  Im not stupid.

so there you go, its easier for me to push you away and be mean then to let you know how I really feel.

moonlight

Take me out tonight
Where there's music and there's people
And they're young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one
Anymore

Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people and I
Want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh, please don't drop me home
Because it's not my home, it's their
Home, and I'm welcome no more


And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

someday

This photo made me smile..reminds me that there are nice guys out there. no giving in.

 

someday........=)

more work equals more money

well I have been working alot. But that makes me happy because I get to meet new people everyday and all that jazz. While also making money. And every shopaholic loves to make money, well maybe not but they should. Most shopaholic just like to spend money but not all of us have that privilege so here I am.
Though I have had the typical buys this month which include a couple new boots, clothes, purse ect.. I have been buying some "larger" or more expensive items, however you want to put it.
anyho.. 
A couple weeks ago I purchased the  Sony Cyber-shot DSC-W570. Over all It is a good camera. It has 5x Zoom. 16.1 Megapixels. 25mm wide-angle lens and also takes 720 p video and panorama shots. I love panorama shots that was a big input on deciding cameras. The camera is also very light.
As well as the camera I have decided to order the Iphone 4s in white, yes I know that the new one should be out within a couple months. I have taken the time to decide what to do. With that said, I know that the Iphone 5 will most likely be out of my price range and only have small changes to the Iphone 4s, I have decided to go with the 4s. Hopefully, this will be a good decision. I literally just ordered it so, yah. But also i had to take a long time to figure out which phone company to go with, which is never an easy plan. After having a bad time with a previous Iphone 3g with ATT I have decided to go with Verizon wireless. I have looked up many reviews and Verizon seems to be faster than ATT.  So hopefully I made a good choice there.  I know that with ATT you can talk and do stuff at the same time, but I don't do that anyway so it didn't matter there.