the truth.

Its thanksgiving. what am i to be thankful for? for finally knowing the truth. The reason why I have problems trusting men. my dad. you may all be thinking, oh don't blame your dad for your trust issues. and truthfully, to this day I never have. I never thought I had a real reason. I thought I just had trust issues, for a different reason. But know I know the truth. while drinking with my moms side of the family today, many issues and things that have been hidden have come out. And honestly, I am so mad and appalled that any of this has ever happened. you know, I knew my dad was never a really nice guy and he always had a temper. I know my dads side of the family always treats my cousins better than me and my sisters. but this is not about that. I can live with that. But this.. is just making me so mad. I just want to get a lawyer or something. You may be thinking, oh her dad probably cheated on her mom. NO, this is worse. Much worse.
So here goes it..... please listen to my story. this is all true.
So I found out that when my parents were first together. My dad use to really beat my mom. like seriously beat her. not like just a slap across the face either. my aunts told me many stories. one was when my mom went to lunch with her mom, my mom came home and my dad grabbed my mom by her hair and smashed her face into a metal bar. my mom wasn't allowed to see her family. till this day he still gets mad if she does, but know he just yells or throws stuff on the ground, so i never thought he did anything like that, and my mom never said anything about it.They also said when my mom left the apartment or house they were living in to go live with her mom, my grandparents(dads parents) sent out an arrest warrant for my mom when she went to go get my baby clothes. They also tried to take me away from my mom. My uncle( mom's grandma's brother) had to get a lawyer for my mom to defend herself. so when my mom went back to get my baby clothes with her sister, my dad jumped on the car and was trying to break the window, putting dents in the car. My grandma said my mom was always black and blue from him. He would always be putting dents in the wall and everything.  my grandparents on my dads side were trying to bribe my mom to stay with my dad. I want to know what else happened. thats all they would tell me.
I always hated my dad, but I never knew why really. I mean he was always mean, but I didn't know he was that mean. I wish I had never saved his life. I wish I just left him there to die.
I think this is all my fault. If i hadent been born my mom wouldn't have had to go through all that she could have just left him and been happy.

what is there for me to do?